I know that there have been a lot of misunderstandings between us regarding fitness.
There have been a lot of times when I’ve blamed you for things that might have just been caused by my lack of physical fitness or procrastination or low willpower, but I know there have also been times when I thought I was somehow defective or extraordinarily lazy because of how much it hurt to workout or how completely drained and exhausted I might feel for days after an ‘ordinary’ workout.
The whole Fibro and Fitness connection is still pretty confusing to me, but I’m trying to get a handle on it somehow. I’m trying to pay more attention and trying to feel like there are “possibilities” where I’m still so tempted to feel trapped or hopeless.
I feel really frustrated some days that I’m still overweight after all of these years. And I struggle to feel optimistic that things can improve or to know how to fit your challenges into my routines. I envy the people who say they feel a sense of energy and positive mood after a workout because I just feel like someone’s kicked me all over.
So Fibro, I guess this note is basically just to share these thoughts but also to say that I’m not going to give up, so I’d appreciate it if there’s anything you can teach me about how to build a stronger body and a more confident mindset about my body’s potential. I’m pretty tired of feeling like I live in a completely different Galaxy from the concept of “Fit.”