I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that annoying thing you do first thing in the morning. I know it’s protocol to use “I” statements when addressing frustrations, but I’m skipping the formalities for now since we’re on a first-name basis.
I don’t like it when I wake up with that deep aching feeling in my legs. It’s first thing in the morning, and I’m barely awake, semi-comfortable in bed, maybe stirring from a good dream, and it should be a sweet, soft “hello” moment for my day, but right in the middle of my first yawn, I feel that crawling sensation and find that my legs are on fire. I would prefer if you would try to restrain this, but since I suspect that you will probably not heed my preferences, I wanted to at least get this out into the open.
When people talk of “leaping from bed with vigor to start a new day,” I laugh. What a nice fairytale. Instead of leaping, I slide, roll, crawl and hobble. But, despite you, I am choosing to enjoy my days and do whatever I can to keep your antics on the back-burner.
I don’t mind telling you that I plan to air even more of your not-so-nice secrets . . . if you have any defense for yourself, I’m all ears.